Seafood itchy

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Foursheets couldn't wrap her head around it.

She couldn't understand why, for two guys who normally don't eat much spicy food and can't handle the heat, the two of us have chosen to go to Grand Majestic Sichuan for dinner tonight.

I had ended my years-long boycott of Black Sheep restaurants, so there was nothing to stop me from going. The concept of the restaurant was devloped together with Fuchsia Dunlop, who I've dined with a few times together with The Great One and Sweetheart. Here's a woman who knows a shit ton more about Sichuan cuisine - and probably Chinese cuisine in general - than I ever will. So I was naturally curious. DaRC felt the same. So here were are.

Seeing that the restaurant is under the purview of B Bestie, I asked him to book a table for us. The two of us went with an open mind, or at least tried to, but it was immediately apparent that the place is geared towards the non-Chinese community. Our table of two, together with the neighboring four-top, were the only all-Chinese tables I could see. My guess is that there were no more than a dozen Chinese patrons.

Steamed Ping Tung aubergine, scorched green chillies (燒椒屏東長茄子, 燒青辣椒) - not the usual eggplant dish I would normally order, but that's kinda the whole point of coming, innit?! The scorched chilli "salsa" was pretty nice, and while there was some heat here, it was more about the garlic. Very refreshing as a first dish, especially since it was served chilled.

Sichuan pepper bamboo shoots， spring onion and peppercorn oil (椒麻鮮筍, 香蔥花椒油) - another really refreshing dish that was chilled. The finely-shredded bamboo shoots came tossed with green peppercorn oil which left a wonderful fragrance in the mouth, with a tingling, numbing sensation but barely any heat.

Stir fried green beans, hand-chopped kurobuta pork (乾煸四季豆, 手切黑毛豬乾) - FAIL. This is a dish I always, always order when I see it on a menu. It's a dish I have known since childhood, and I love mom's version so much that I even asked her to teach The Great One how to do it properly.

Anyway... for me the problem started with the use the wrong cultivar of beans (were these yardlong beans?). To be fair, it's difficult to find the right kind in Hong Kong, as the ones usually available are simply too thick and fleshy. The cooks also didn't leave them in the wok long enough to properly dry out and shrivel the beans - a mistake most restaurants make for commercial reasons. As much as I love to order this dish in a restaurant, it also comes with a fail rate of more than 80%... meaning only 1 out of 5 actually meets my standards. Sadly, this one tonight also didn't pass. The beans were just too crunchy and there was too much moisture left in them. I also didn't care for the finely-chopped ginger, which overpowered the usual minced pork with garlic.

Chef Theign Phan obviously knew we were here and came to greet us. She also generously brought us two extra starters that she wanted us to try.

Mouthwatering chicken, chilli oil and peanuts (口水雞, 辣油花生) - this classic dish was something I didn't want to order here, as I wanted to save my stomach space for other dishes I don't see in every single Sichuan restaurant. This was fine, but the it ended up being very spicy as the heat gradually built up... and my tongue finally caught fire.

Wafer thin beef, chilli oil and sesame seeds (燈影牛肉, 麻仁辣椒油泡) - another classic dish, which was done pretty well. Thin, crispy beef "chips" that was also reasonably spicy.

Fish fragrant prawns, garlic, ginger and pickled chillies (魚香蝦球, 蒜香薑蓉泡椒) - in lieu of the usual classic dish of "fish fragrant (魚香)" eggplant, we decided to have the prawns prepared this way. Obviously one does not expect live, fresh prawns for this dish, so the texture of these frozen prawns turned out a little too crunchy... and unfortunately bland. The combination of garlic, chili, and ginger turned out to be too mild in this case.

Sichuan fragrant lamb, cumin, morel mushrooms, red and green chillies (四川香辣羊肉, 孜然, 羊肚菌及青紅辣椒) - this was by far the best hot dish of the meal, as the lamb was very fatty, very lamby, and very tasty. The morels tasted pretty sweet from the marinade, and those dried chilies were very damn spicy.

Osmanthus ice jelly, candied strawberries and blueberries (桂花冰粉, 士多啤梨及藍莓) - I love me a bowl of traditional "ice jelly" after a spicy Sichuanese meal, so I tried to finish this even though I was pretty stuffed by now.

Once again, Chef Theign very kindly added a little extra:

Fried glutinous rice parcels, cane sugar and soy bean flour (紅糖糍粑, 蔗糖黃豆粉) - actually not too sweet, so this was OK. Unfortunately chunks of glutinous rice was just about the last thing I needed at this point...

Fruits are always welcome at the end of the meal, and provided a welcome respite.

With DaRC as my partner in crime for this spicy meal, it was the perfect opportunity to bring out an off-dry German riesling. Unfortunately I didn't have a more appropriate spätlese at home, so this would have to do...

1993 Maximin Grünhauser Abtsberg Kabinett - good level of acidity on the palate, which was actually quite high and even a little sharp at times. Lovely nose of truffle and petrol.

We were completely stuffed. The original plan was three starters with two mains, but that went out the window very quickly. There were a couple of dishes we enjoyed very much, but overall we didn't find the dishes to be noteworthy... Well, I guess the two of us were never really the restaurant's target audience, anyway... just two assholes who were 屎忽痕 (or as Foursheets would euphemistically call "seafood itchy") on a Wednesday night. Nevertheless, I am grateful for Chef Theign's kind hospitality, and for B Bestie's willingness to entertain my requests.